marți, 17 mai 2011
Cage the elephant
Every once in a (long) while I feel trapped and gagged.
I don't know why I keep building this future I don't fit in. This future that terrifies me to the point where I can't sleep at night.
It usually takes someone from the outside to make me realize how I've been limiting myself to this completely ordinary life.. tasteless, odorless life.
Some say the relationship with someone becomes a habit after a while. I suspect that the whole idea of a relationship became a habit to the point where it doesn't matter who you share it with. Kinda like smoking: you're so hooked on it that when you run out of your favorite cigarettes, ANY cigarette would do the trick.
I can see clearly the problem from root to peak, yet I have no idea how to decide on a solution.
Do I put up the sign "Don't feed the animal" and carry on caged but safe or do I dive into my own wildness and act as I wanna?
I do take great care of people's feelings but I became so obsessed about making THEM feel good at all times that I ignored my own soul for so long.
I want conversation. similar tastes. compliments. awe.
I want to share a day out in the park. a folk song. a truly passionate kiss.
I wanna see with my own eyes the love one has for me.
I'm tired of always being in control.